I finally got my license back!
But it hasn’t completely settled in. Just the other day, a friend came over to visit. Like me, he too had lost his license too. But his infraction was for speeding. When he was ready to go home, he organized a lift. All the while, I allowed this to go on despite having a license. I’d forgotten already because I was still in the same mindset I’ve been in for the past year.
"I feel like a wild animal that's been released from captivity, and I don't know what to do"
The freedom is awesome and indescribable. It's a strange feeling to come out from the other side but even stranger to be thinking about it as I type these words. It's been a long 12 months full of many highs and many lows, but it definitely feels like I've been reborn again.
Since I’d lost my license for driving while intoxicated, I’m required to keep a breathalyzer on my motorbike which is fucked up but unfortunately that's the rules. I think its completely in adequate. I've already given a year away for blowing .053 and now they tell me I need to keep a breathalyzer in a nominated vehicle, which is the only vehicle I can use for another 12 fucking months. This breathalyzer ain't fucking free it cost me $180 to calibrate it each month for 12 months.
"I don't want to get into politics but this is just a classic case of revenue raising by the government."
I know I broke the law but I think there's a line too that the government crosses. It's already effected my livelihood and has left a bad taste in my mouth. But besides that, I have learned the hard way and I'm still here and still fighting. The flip side to a breathalyzer is the look on peoples faces when I'm blowing into it. I've had plenty of conversations with passerby's, it's kinda like being a celebrity really, people want to know your story which has actually been really good for the label who would have thought!
Aside from getting my license back, I recently started a new position with an established clothing company. Between my new schedule and my newfound freedom, it has been a lot to take in.
"While talking to one of my friends, I shared with her “I feel so weird. I feel like I’m a little bit lost at the moment.”
She told me that I felt this way because I was dealing with change. I've been so focused for the last 12 months on myself and the label, that I'm not used to other external pressures of daily life. I’d started a new job in an industry that I've never worked in before, and got my license back after a year, being at the mercy of public transport, friends and family. These are big changes that are taking place in my life. And just like losing my license I will figure a way to adapt. I started organizing things for my return to the markets. But most important, I started focusing on living a little. Over the past year, what I’d missed out on the most was simply living. So now, I was getting back to normality.
There's this crazy feeling I get when I’m out riding my bike, it takes over my body and I can't stop smiling. I love riding in the afternoon's, there's a beautiful area I like to ride too that is not too far from where I live. I like to spend time there riding around looking at all these beautiful homes. I think about it so much that I can image what the place would smell like inside. And how I would love to spend my Sunday afternoon relaxing on my verandah drinking coffee and reading the paper.
"I hope that one day I would be able to afford a nice little place of my own where I can raise a family."
Perhaps the most adventurous thing I did involved one of my favorite new found artists, Garrett Kato. I play guitar in my free time. And I came across Garret's YouTube video of him playing his song, “Sweet Jane”. I was instantly taken with the song and tried to figure out the chords. I looked him up on Facebook, told him how his music inspired me, and asked for his help figuring out the chords. He actually messaged me back with the chords! Shortly after that, I found out he was actually from Canada but moved to Byron Bay a few years back. And by luck he was playing a show in Brisbane. I was excited to attend because I feel like his music is literally the soundtrack to my life.
I took a girl I just met from work, that very same day I asked her,
"Hey I've got two tickets to a gig tonight, do you want to come along?."
It was pretty random because I didn't even know her and I didn't know if she would even like this type of music but it didn't matter, it was all about sharing the experience with someone. It was hands down the best gig I've ever been too, it was quite surreal because it was a cool tucked away bar, and the room he played was small and quite intimate. It made you feel like you were somewhere else. After the gig, I was able to introduce myself to him as I promised when I was talking to him on Facebook. It was crazy, some of the things he talked about were exactly the way I felt about a lot of things. In particular, when he had a meeting with "The Voice" they said
"We like you, but we just need to mold you" and his reaction was, "I don't want to be molded I just want to be me"
that really struck a chord with me. How important it is to stay true to your art and vision. I definitely recommend Garret Kato, his music is authentic and his words are meaningful. And by the way his song "Sweet Jane" will be on the sound track for the new movie "Bad moms". I'm so happy for Garret because I know he really deserves it. I hope to keep in touch with him and follow his journey.
"When our talk was over, I asked him to show me the chords to “Sweet Jane” and we started jamming out."
I started to think how much my life has changed and how much I’d changed. I've become more aware of life and how special it is and important it is to be happy. Getting my license back was about so much more than traveling from point A to point B. It was about getting my life back. It was about finally unleashing my free spirit.
"Fashion Imitates Life" - Nikke Horrigan